


Clinging to the wild things that raised us

by KiriJones



Series: Five long years [1]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: "We are kept keen on the grindstone of pain and necessity."-H.G. Wells, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Astrid-centric, Families of Choice, Gen, Hiccup is mostly just mentioned for the first chapters, Hiccup leaves Berk, and Astrid must try and pick up the pieces in the aftermath, arranged marriage with an older man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-10 00:11:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17415230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiriJones/pseuds/KiriJones
Summary: After the life changing flight on a dragon Astrid caustiously hopes. Instead her dreams are crushed. A series of crushing events send her into an arranged marriage. With her younger sister relying on her Astrid has no choice but to adapt. But one thing remains constant, her feelings for a sarcastic and skinny Viking boy who broke her heart and left her behind.Determined to move on she leaves behind a final parting gift in the cove. That should be the end of it all. But unexpectedly she finds something left for her.Five years pass. Astride builds a family of her own while Hiccup struggles to accept the reality of his choices.Berk and the so called Deagon Master are on a collision course. And Astrid will find herself torn between her heart and head.





	1. Chapter 1

When Astrid leaves Hiccup behind that night she believes things will change. A hope forms in her gut. It takes mere hours for it it to blown apart by a stupid boy who should have no power over her. Hiccup never shows up to kill the Monstrous Nightmare. And he is never seen again on Berk. 

Stoick the Vast searches high and low and tears apart the sea and land to try and find his son. Eventually with no trace he calls off the search and Hiccup is declared dead. Whether he was a traitor or a victim of a dragon. It does nothing to consol the chief of the Hooligans. 

Astrid knows she should say something but if she mentions Toothless she fears the worst. Hiccup chose to leave them all. Better to let his father have the good memories. Better for him to think his son loved him than to know he abandoned them all. 

Astrid does her best to tread water. But the gods must be laughing at her. Barely three months after Hiccup leaves during a raid a dragon sets her house on fire. Her mother, Ingrid Hofferson, dies saving her almost four year old daughter Brynna. And just like that Astrid is an orphan. She can't imagine a life without her mother. 

Ingrid was a seamstress who had survived the death of her husband and given birth to a daughter alone with naught but Gothi and Astrid with her. Ingrid was a fierce woman who left behind a life as a Shieldmaiden when a Dragon caused her to fall and she never healed right. Her hands would shake. Steady enough to sew but never enough to hold a sword again. It was for Ingrid and Brynna that Astrid fought so hard. And for her father. To make him proud and to give Gunthar Hofferson something to be proud of in Valhalla. 

Astrid has no family and so her options are limited. And she has Brynna to think of. She can't let anyone take her sister. Astride breaks down only once. After they send her mother off on a burning boat Astrid takes Brynna home and waits until night falls before she allows herself to feel anything but numb. She sobs but covers her mouth with her hands to not wake Brynna. 

In the morning she swallows her pride and goes to Stoick. And in his grief he looks at her as if seeing her for the first time. And he agrees to help her. Stoick is appointed her representative in place of her parents. He searches for a suitor for her. And eventually he finds a man he deems worthy. 

Rollo Ironside is a man of Stoick's own age. Almost thirty-six years old. He is a mighty warrior and a respected Elder. Rollo is a man Stoick trusts to negotiate with other tribes and lead the charge if needs be. At first Astrid wants to refuse but he begs her to at least speak with Rollo. 

So she does. She finds a practical man who wants an heir. He tells Astrid he desires a son. After a child is born he will bother her no more. He will take in Brynna and raise her as his own. He wants a partner and someone he can trust. If she wants he has no problem with her continuing to be a shield maiden. He is calm and look at her with no lust in his eyes. Astride knows he wants to continue his line. He is a cautious but fair man. He will protect her and Brynna. 

Astrid looks him in the eye and agrees to be wed as soon as possible. The announcement is made almost a week later. Astride dreads the reactions of her friends and the tribe. She is a warrior but here she is ruled by tradition. She can't just leave with Brynna. This is their home. Astrid will do what needs to be done. Adapt or die. This is the Viking way. 

Ruff vows to support her. Tuff follows his sister's example. Snotlout tells her she is brave and Fish says he will keep her posted on all the new dragon developments. Astrid Hofferson is fifteen when Hiccup Haddock changes her life. Six months later she says her vows in front of the gods and her tribe. She is a Hofferson no more. Instead she is an Ironside. That night as she looses the last piece of her girlhood Astrid lays in bed long after the deed is done. She gathers a fur and goes to look out he window. Ignoring the soft snores of her husband she stares out the window until the sun peaks over the horizon. 

She tries  not to think of being a wife or a mother. Instead she thinks of flying and clouds and stars and a boy who she wants to hate. But instead Astrid wonders if this is how Hiccup felt all his life. Trapped and alone. 


	2. Chapter 2

Six months into her marriage Asteid knows things have to change. She is barely hanging on. Rollo is a good and fair man. He keeps his word and lets Astrid continue her training. He treats Brynna with care and respect. He is as gentle and fair as any man in her life. But the times he comes to her bed seeking to make an heir she feels a little bit of her soul die. She has no reason to complain. It could be so much worse. But still she feels as if she has lost something she will never get back. 

One day after training Astrid goes back to her house and sits on the bed looking out the window. The winds blows and the waves are crashing down against the cliffs. She remembers flying. She remembers Hiccup and his smile. And she knows what she has to do. Rollo is gone on a matter to business. She gets Ruff to look after Brynna. She goes to the forge and after a quick word to Gobber, who does not stop her, she gets to work. 

She digs and finds everything she can that Hiccup left behind. She finds an apron and a book full of sketches and various tools. She digs out an old chest and piles it all in. She then lugs it into the forest and then down to the cove. The place where Hiccup changed her life and then left her behind. The place where she discovered everything to change only for her to realize it would never be in the way she had hoped. 

Astrid takes her knife and begins to dig in the sand. She digs even as the sun sets and the moon rises. She digs and then when the hole is big enough she pushes the chest in. And then she buries it. She buries Hiccup and the thoughts of flight. She buries her childhood and her hopes and dreams. And when it is covered only then does she let go. She begins to sob. She cries for what could have been and what should have been. She buries it all. She lets is go. And then she sets is ablaze. She lets is burn away. 

Astrid Hofferson is gone. The girl who flew on a dragon and could have loved the son of a chief disappears into the night sky. All that remains is Asteid Ironside. A wife and a woman who will be devoted to her tribe and family. She will make her parents proud. She will return to her husband in spades the kindness he has shown her. And she will be happy. She will be. Out of the corner of her eyes she sees them. Small black scales the shine in the moonlight. Astrid takes them all and rebuffed them in the chest. In one she carves out the rune for goodbye. Safe travels. She wishes Hiccup safety and peace. 

She sits there all night. And when the sun rises Astrid returns to her home and sleeps. And when Rollo returns three days later she greets him with a nod and a small smile. She may not ever find a world shaking love. But she can find peace. And she finds it months later when Gothi tells her she is pregnant. 

She tells Brynna who is excited for a brother and Rollo manages a small smile. And that night as she lays in bed Astrid lets her hand drift to her stomach. She lets herself hope. And for the first time in forever it does not feel like such s curse. 


End file.
